How could you leave ? x
by CaptainRaydorxxx
Summary: There was no more a hurtful way he could do this to her ... but she would find him ... and she would get an answer. (SxJ)


"So it's true"

"Huh"

"You're leaving"

Jack looked up from where he had been tying his laces.

"It had to happen to eventually"

"We all knew that, but I didn't expect you to try and sneak away"

"I didn't want a fuss"

"Have you spoken to her yet?"

"Yes"

"Jack?"

"What do you want from me Daniel ... I said goodbye"

Jack stood and picked up his duffel and strode to the door. He pushed it open with one hand and turned back round to face Daniel.

"Bye space monkey"

...

"He's gone"

"Daniel don't do that"

Sam jerked her head up from where it had been resting on her hand.

"I didn't mean to make you jump"

"It's fine ... who's gone?"

"Jack"

"Oh I know ... He said goodbye before he left"

"No I mean ... gone gone"

"Well it is then end of the day Daniel"

"Sam ... he's left for Washington ... his office is packed up and he was finishing his locker as I caught him"

Daniel waited for a response, something, anything but all he got was silence.

"He wouldn't leave without telling me"

Daniel dropped his head, not able to look her in the eyes.

"Sam please"

He looked up when he heard her sniff, catching her wipe a hand under her eyes.

"I'm ... I'm going home"

"You can't just leave Sam ... The new guy ... Landry ... he'll want to meet you"

"I'm sorry Daniel ... I have to go"

Daniel made the mistake of trying to grab her shoulder as she fled past him. Before he could even blink she had him on the floor, face pressed into the cold concrete, arm pressed against his back.

"Please Daniel ... I have to go"

And with that she was gone before he could say a word.

By the time she had made it to the surface, Jack was already dumping his stuff in the bed of his truck.

"Jack" she called across the parking lot, not caring who saw her.

She watched him climb into the driver's seat and reverse the truck out of its spot. She dashed forward, stopping when she met his gaze in the rear view mirror.

"Please Jack" she whispered, not bothering to hide the tears rolling down her face.

Jack wanted to look away, he knew the longer he looked at her, the harder it would be to drive away but the tears on her cheeks and spark in her eye kept his gaze fixed. When he watched her take a step forward he knew he had to leave, drive away before she could stop him.

"I'm sorry Sam"

He pulled his gaze away from the mirror and forced himself to put the truck into gear. He didn't see Sam fall to her knees, or drop her head into her hands but he did hear the sob.

...

The blinking light on her message machine was really starting to bug her. She had only been at her home for an hour before the phone started ringing and knowing exactly who it was she decided to just ignore it.

Each time she heard Daniel's voice over the machine she grew a little more annoyed. She was waiting for his voice, a message explaining why he would leave for DC without telling her, explaining how he could just leave them behind.

"You've reached Sam Carter; leave a message after the beep"

She waited, foolishly waiting for his voice,

"Hey Sam, look you need to pick up the phone ... General Landry wants to speak to you and we know that you're at home"

She shook her head and moved away from the machine and continued to pack the bag that was lying on her bed.

"Landry has said that he can approve some emergency leave for you but you are going to need to come back to the SGC"

She heard him sigh down the phone before muttering to someone else.

"Look Sam ... please ... can you call me when you pick up your messages ... I'll cover for you as long as I can"

When she heard the call end she dropped onto the bed, tucking her knees against her chest.

...

"O'Neill residence"

"You moved in fast"

"Daniel what do you want?"

"Can't I make a statement Jack?"

"Daniel"

"She's coming Jack"

"I figured she would ... although I was expecting her a few days ago"

"Yeah well none of us have seen her in days"

"Why the hell not Daniel?"

"She wouldn't let us ... she left almost exactly after you did ... Landry is letting her use the leave that she has earned in the last year ... but Jack ... she has to come back at some point"

"If she turns up..."

"Jack"

"Fine ... when she turns up ... I'll try and talk to her"

"Thank you Jack ... I just thought I'd warn you"

"Thanks space monkey"

...

When she finally knocked on his door, he was half asleep on his couch clutching a beer in one hand. He swept his dress jacket to one side from he had dropped it on his couch earlier and placed the beer on the coffee table before he stood.

He almost decided to ignore the knocking when he heard her knock again.

He took a breath and unlocked the wooden door, taking a step back as he opened it

Sam stood there in jeans and the biggest jumper he had ever seen.

Although he should have been expecting it the slap still made him rock back on to his heels.

"You know after Jonas I promised myself that I would never cry over another man ... I want to be so mad at you ... for leaving ... for leaving without saying a proper goodbye ... without saying you weren't going to be back but I all I could think about was the fact that I was crying over you"

Jack could do nothing but stand there, hands in his pockets, cheek shining.

"When Daniel told me I couldn't believe it ... I couldn't believe that you would go without telling me .. I hurt him ... did he tell you that ... I had to leave but he tried to stop me ... he ended up on the floor ... I needed to leave ... I couldn't just let you go"

When she finally stepped into the hall he shut the door and motioned for her to head into the lounge.

"Sam"

"No ... don't ... you have to let me finish"

He shut his mouth and waited for her to continue, watching the tears drip down her cheeks. She stepped in front of him, so close that he could feel her breath on his face.

"I need to know why you couldn't tell me ... even when I followed you to the parking lot ... you saw me ... you could have told me then"

"I couldn't"

"Bullshit"

"Sam ... I couldn't explain ... you have to understand"

"But I don't understand ... do you have any idea how it felt to know that you weren't coming back"

She looked at him, desperate to see something.

"If I had said that I wasn't coming back ... everything would have ended ... it wouldn't be the same"

"Telephones were invented for a reason Jack"

She took a step back.

"I didn't want ... "

"Want what Jack?"

"I want to say us ... but there is no us to end"

"I wouldn't have cut you out"

"Can you promise that?"

"Not now ... this hurt Jack ... I have never felt so betrayed in my while life"

"Sam please"

"No ... you made your decision"

She turned away, heading for the door.

"Sam"

She ignored him, knowing that if she turned back she would cry and she wasn't willing to shed anymore tears over him.

When she finally reached the door her hands fumbled with the lock. When it finally opened, a hand appeared over her shoulder and slammed it shut.

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck; feel the heat of his body behind her.

"For years ... there has been so much that I have wanted to say, to do ... but haven't been allowed to"

He turned her around, his hands sat on her waist.

"I can't let you go thinking that leaving you behind was easy"

He pulled her closer, his hands wrapping around her back as her clutched at his shirt, her head under his chin.

"I can't let you go hating me ... it would kill me"

"I don't hate you ... I have never hated you"

"But you still weren't going to forgive me"

"No I wasn't ... it hurt Jack ... so much"

Her grip tightened on his shirt and she rested her head back on his chest, his heart beating under her ear.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted you to hold me like this"

"I can guess"

They stood like that, clutched in each other's embrace, neither willing to let go first.

"If you'll have me Sam ... I'm yours ... I don't know how we are going to do it ... but we could make it work"

She let go of his shirt before wrapping her arms around his neck pulling his head closer to hers.

"Romantic old fool"

"Only a minute ago I think you were ready to shoot me"

"It did cross my mind but ..."

Whatever else she was going to say was lost as he kissed her. It was gentle, barely a kiss but enough to silence her, when she shifted her head he pressed harder, pulling her as close as possible.

He walked them forwards until her back was pressed against the door, his hands settling on her waist, his fingers creeping under the edge of her jumper to rest of the soft skin of her stomach.

He had no idea how long they were stood there but when his hands slipped down her back and cupped the back of her thighs she moaned. Hoisting her further up the door he leant closer allowing her to wrap her legs around his hips.

Breaking the kiss, he looked down at her.

"I don't know how long I am going to be able to do this for ... you sure you wanna get involved with an old guy like me?"

"Ask me again later"

This time it was Sam who took the lead, her fingers threading in his silver hair, pulling his head back down to hers. She swallowed his groan, smiling against his lips.

"What do you say we move this somewhere more old-guy friendly?"

"Move away"

...

Jack flung his arm in the general direction of his coffee table, hoping to silence the ringing device that woke him up. When all he accomplished was to actually knock it closer to himself he groaned and grabbed the device, putting it to his ear.

"O'Neill"

"So your alive"

"We are going to talk about your sass Daniel ... but not right now"

"What ever ... is she alright?"

"Why are you ringing at 3am Daniel ... I would have called you if something had gone wrong"

"No you wouldn't"

"Space monkey"

"Alright ... I just wanted to make sure you were both alright ... and you aren't exactly one for keeping normal hours but that's beside..."

"Goodbye space monkey"

Jack hung up the phone before Daniel could carry on rambling ... he seriously wondered if the man ever slept. Flinging the phone away he relaxed and glanced down at the woman sleeping on his chest.

After leaving the door they hadn't made it much further than the lounge before they fell on the sofa in each other's arms.

He smiled at the way her hair curled at the ends now that it was longer, the way her face became crease free in sleep and the way she slept with a hand tucked against her cheek.

"Whatever happens ... You'll always have me".


End file.
